Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Category C

Six weeks, two trips to the hospital, a cat scan, chest x-ray, and many prescription medications later, I finally found a doctor who is actually doing something about the cough. The cough that has caused me to pull every muscle in the left side of my body. The cough that is making me vomit several times a day. The cough that is making me want to kill myself and anyone else I come in contact with.

He's testing me for whopping cough. What is this, 1856? Is whooping cough even around anymore? Apparently it's making a comeback. Fabulous. I'd rather leg warmers and Pepsi Clear have another go at becoming popular, but no, it has to be a bacterial disease.

I am, however, on 3 pretty rockin' drugs, one of which is Tussionex, a lovely cough syrup laced with codeine. Look it up online and it'll tell you that it should only be taken in pregnancy if the benefits clearly outweigh the risks. Well, seeing as though this poor fetus has spent the last 6 weeks listening to and being jostled around by my hacking, puking self, I think the time has come for some kind of intervention. While I do feel a wee bit bad that I'm drugging my fetus, I've already stated that I'm not above taking medication while pregnant (I can imagine the disapproving looks now. Eat me.). The primary concern during a pregnancy should be for the mother - an unhealthy mother can lead to problems in-utero. I'm thankful that I have a doctor who realized that. I'm also thankful that I have a doctor who hooked me up with narcotics. There's nothing like the feeling of drifting off into a codeine-induced fuzzy state of mind-numbing bliss.

*disclaimer - i am not now, nor have i ever been, addicted to drugs, prescription or otherwise. however, i can see how it's easy to become addicted to something that makes you feel like you have no cares in the world, something that allows for a full night of sleep when the aches and pains and fetuses of pregnancy keep you awake night after night after friggin' night. so if you're a prospective employer (do i really have to go back to work when the kids are older and in school? come on!) reading this 5 or 6 years from now after having googled my name, relax - this was written in humor. partially. i mean, i'm not going to lie - if i had a connection that could hook me up with codeine on a regular basis, i'd probably have a problem that required rehab. and if you choose not to hire me based on this blog entry, then i wouldn't want to work for your sorry ass, anyway.

3 comments:

Momma Mary said...

TOTALLY ridiculous that no one caught that earlier. What dorks.

Hopefully you get some sleep. :) And get to feeling better!

Matter Of Fact Mommy said...

best part about this post? the disclaimer.

JUST GET BETTER! if that requires you taking meds, then so be it. i am not one to judge (i'm pretty sure you know that.)

i definitely see how people get addicted to mind-numbing drugs quickly. i was once on crystal meth (yes, i have all of my teeth - it was only for 1yr and i was 16. blow me.) and still don't know how i broke that habit... i do so love the stuff that they give you right after you have the baby - you know the advil/percocet mix. yup, took one every 2 hours in the hospital.

Sara Fischer said...

I love Cough syrup with Codeine. My husband went to the doctor because he was sick, I told him to ask the doctor for some of that stuff because I was out. Its the best...*disclaimer - i am not a drug user,but when you are not feeling well, drugs are needed.