But mine is more like the tricked-out fun house at some skeevy amusement park.
Let me explain. First of all, two c-sections in two years. Damn. My stomach looks like what I imagine the scary creature from the first season of Lost to look like. *My husband and I just started watching the first season. I have no idea what it is they're all running from, so I'm left to use my imagination. I'm pretty certain, though, that it looks like my saggy, droopy, stretch mark-adorned stomach. If anyone who reads this spoils what happens in the 1st-4th seasons, I'll kill you. Or at least make you kiss my bare stomach.
Next - my hair. WTF? Pregnancy is supposed to make your hair thick and luscious. My first pregnancy did. Not the second one, though. It's dry and dull and too long. I think I'm going to cut it off.
Dry skin. Sharp and prickly, like a cactus.
The latest, though, is the headache. The headache and the noise distortion I'm hearing through my ears whenever someone speaks to me. Started shortly after I got home from the hospital. The headache hasn't gone away, so we're talking close to three weeks. I finally saw my doctor for it today, and he's going to treat me for a severe sinus infection (I have no congestion - go figure), but well, "we're also not going to rule out a brain bleed." Oh, okay - a brain ble....WHAT? Dude - don't you read my blog? You don't mention BRAIN BLEED with someone whose blog title has the word WORRYWART in it. He starts to explain that something called Sheehan's Syndrome can result when a woman's blood pressure drops too low during delivery (my BP dropped way low, but not until 2 days post c-section), and this Sheehan's Syndrome is another name for a small brain bleed. Wow. Okay. So his course of action? He's treating me for a sinus infection first - a powerful steroid. If nothing is better by Wednesday then I am to call him so that we can get me into an ENT, and he will also schedule me for a MRI to rule out a brain bleed. (Hello - if you suspect this in the slightest, shouldn't we, I don't know, go ahead and schedule it NOW?) He wrote a script for some blood work and sent me on my way. On the drive to the lab, and the drive home, I was panicky. All I kept hearing in my mind was brain bleed. The first thing I did upon arriving home was to Google Sheehan's Syndrome. Imagine my surprise (and relief) when I learned that this syndrome sounds nothing like what he was describing. Where'd you get your MD, doc? TARGET?
Why do I always seem to find myself with doctors who just don't seem up to par? I'm wondering, though - is he just generally confused, or is he thinking of something else and just got the name wrong? Is my brain bleeding? Would I be sitting here with the ability to type if my brain were bleeding? Damn. I guess I'll have to wait until Wednesday to find out.
My steri-strips still haven't fallen off. I had staples to close the outer incision but they were removed the day I was discharged. I was told the strips would fall off in about a week, but nope - they're holding on tight. They must like my creepy stomach. I started to pull some of them off the other day, but was quite certain that I felt my incision rip open as I was doing so, and I stopped. Not before I got one strip off, though. It was caked with dried blood and my curiosity got the best of me and I held it to my nose and sniffed. Oh hell - after I regained consciousness I questioned how anything could smell so bad, and was kindly reminded by Hubs that the strips had dried guts on them. I briefly contemplated whether or not that was more disgusting than my sister eating a grub in her salad from The Cheesecake Factory. Now I can't touch my stomach without thinking about grubs and innards.
I should totally post a picture of my first c-section. You can see all sorts of grossness!