Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Scent of a woman

When I was pregnant with Baby Boy in 2006 there was a television commercial that offended me to no end. It was for Tide laundry detergent, and its tag line was as follows:

Because there's a difference between smelling like a mom and smelling like a woman.

I was horrified. I assumed that there was a man in the driver's seat of that ad campaign. After I had BB, I never once noticed that I smelled. Never. Hubs never implied that I was stinky.

Now? With a second child? Holy hell. I haven't showered since Monday. I'm pretty sure I've at least rolled on some fresh deodorant and changed my underwear, but one never knows. I've been projectile-vomited on several times, peed on, and pooped on twice - therefore I'm pretty sure I smell like a NYC subway tunnel during the hottest summer heat wave...with a hint of Coppertone Kids SPF 50. And so, to you, creators of the Tide campaign that pissed me off every single time I saw your commercial, I offer a sincere apology. There certainly is a difference between smelling like a mom and smelling like a woman. The latter? The memory of that scent is long gone. Perfume? What's that? Hubs used to tell me all the time - back in our pre-spawn days - that he loved my natural smell. He doesn't say that to me anymore. The former? Well, I don't think we'll find a bottle of "MOM" on the list of Demeter's prospective scents.

I forgot how much fun it was to really play with my son. I couldn't run and play while pregnant because I was either barfing and not wanting to jostle the contents of my stomach anymore than they were already being jostled, or I was too huge or in too much discomfort. I actually haven't had the chance to run around and play with him since he started walking (he was a late walker). The painful part of c-section recovery seems to finally be over and done with, so running and jumping (in all my jiggly glory) is quite feasible. I love love love playing with him outside. He invented his own version of a chasing game called "Getchoo Keesyoo." Translation? I get you and I kiss you. I don't think I've ever had more fun playing outside with anyone, childhood friends included. Who knew?

Baby girl has started smiling for real. She smiles when she hears my voice. I forgot how heartwarming that was. Baby boy appears to love her more and more each day. He's very protective of her and it's amazing to watch him interact with her. Baby boy is an old soul, I think, and it makes me proud to watch him as he comes into his own more and more. I do hope they grow to be close.

I buckled and made an appointment to have my hair cut this weekend. I haven't had a haircut since - wait for it - November 2006. I need a style. Like I have time to style. Right now it's long and brown and wavy. And coarse and dry and probably dragging my looks down. My looks. Ha. Like I have looks. Plain Jane is more like it. You saw the pictures a few posts ago - you get the general idea. Good lips. Pouty. Angelina-esque. Baby boy has beautiful lips. I love Angelina's lips. They're so...full and pouty and sexy and....


From baby boy to the bow-chicka-bow-wow in a matter of nanoseconds. Oops. Not good.

Where was I?

Am I alone in that I come up with the greatest blog posts in the middle of the night when I'm nowhere near the computer? Lately it's during the middle of the night feeding. Something pops into my head and I think Ooo - that would make a great post. Perhaps it's because I'm still in the Lortab-induced alternate universe of consciousness, and there's no limit to where my mind can go. *You may be thinking Wait, didn't she say she's having no more pain from the c-section? Why, then, is she still taking the Lortab?

Waste not, want not, I always say.
Pharmacist sister - let's say - hypothetically, of course - that my doctor gave me my friend 50 pills of Lortab 10, and she took one every night for 50 nights until they were gone. Am I going to go through withdrawal?

Why is it that the sun is out all morning long when the little darlings and I are playing outside, yet when they're both asleep in the afternoon, you know, when I have a chance to actually sit and relax and get a skin cancer tan, the sun goes in? Every damn day this week.


Matter Of Fact Mommy said...

you know my thoughts on angelina jolie. *blushing* and yes, moms do not smell like women. they smell like all of those things you list in the first part of your post. but re: the whole not-smelling-before-2-kids thing? ME TOO. i remember it being DAYS before i could shower. i smelled like breastmilk, armpits and breastmilk puke. NICE.

re: the thinking of the perfect blog when nowhere near the computer or anything to write it down on? ME TOO.

McKenzie said...

I hate armpits. To me, armpit smell is worse than the smell you associate with greasy-forehead chicks.