Monday, April 28, 2008

Full term

I am 37 weeks pregnant today. This baby needs to come OUT. I'm tired of not sleeping. I'm tired of being in pain. I'm tired of the homicidal mood swings.

Honest to God, if baby boy wakes up from his nap 2 hours early because the UPS man rang the doorbell, I'm going to hunt him down and castrate him. The UPS man, that is - not my son.

Anyway, as I was saying...(what mood swings?)

I think I'm going to pull my doctor aside in the operating room and tell her that I won't sue her if she accidentally slips and ties my tubes while she's moving my guts aside to extricate my fetus. Not sure when I'll do it - sometime between the dead man walking trudge to the operating room from the pre-op area (Honestly, why do they make you walk? Why can't they wheel me in a wheelchair? This is major surgery, for God's sake.) and the part where I get to have a needle rammed into my spinal column to prevent me from feeling any pain. This whole pregnancy thang must never happen again.

I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. Not with my regular OB, but with her stand-in. Watch MSNBC or CNN after around 9:30 a.m. If you happen to see a story about an insane pregnant woman who went postal when the doctor told her she wasn't dilated - yeah, that'll be me.

2 comments:

Matter Of Fact Mommy said...

i'll be watching. :p

AlexnStephens Mommy said...

I'm laughing so hard I'm crying! I've so been there SOOO many times!! Hope that little one makes an appearance soon so you can get some relief!