Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I

Gotta love psychologist humor.

People amuse me. I suppose that it's partly due to my educational background (holla for a currently useless Master's in counseling psychology), but also partly because I consider myself incredibly socially awkward and introverted, and there's something cathartic about observing others' idiosyncrasies and neuroses.

There are two specific types of people who really tickle my funny bone. The first is people who are passive-aggressive. What's the point? We've all done it, but there are some people out there who turn such behavior into a real art form. It really is funny, though, to watch someone try to intentionally piss someone off, or hurt someone, or push someone's buttons, all because it makes them feel better about their pathetic state of being. Humorous. Why do you think Marie on Everybody Loves Raymond got some of the biggest laughs?

My favorite people are the habitually schizophrenic. I say habitually because they've paid their shrink to give them a less forbidding diagnosis it's my opinion that there's a little somethin' going on upstairs, but when it has been observed on a pretty consistent basis, it's hard not to have that professional personal opinion. I often notice that passive-aggressive behavior and habitual schizophrenia go hand in hand. Now, I don't know who reads this blog (unless you openly admit that you're my stalker, as one faithful reader recently has - hi stalker!), so if you take offense to my post...well, tough. It's my blog. Chances are I'm *probably* not talking about an observation I've made about you, since I've most likely never run into you in person. I can say, though, that I'm not referring to anyone in my family. Unless you're my husband, because I do find him to occasionally fall into this category, but this particular post isn't about him. Although it could be. In any case, when I encounter these types of people, I feel as though I've had a run in with Sybil (no, this isn't about me, either. Although it could be.), and it brings such excitement to my day, but I can't say anything because then people will know that I think they're nuts.

Side note - If you haven't had the experience of watching Sybil, I highly recommend it. You'll never look at your mother or enema bags the same again.

I also enjoy the people who are abusive to their children in public. Disclaimer - I don't enjoy seeing the children being treated the way they're being treated. "Enjoy" was completely facetious. End disclaimer. In any case, I can't narrow it down to a specific demographic, but there seems to be some kind of trend in the different types of people I see doing this. The best place to see these people? The malls or the grocery stores, but in other places, too. You'll know them. Usually moms, acting in ways that vary from the "benign" (smacking your child across the mouth or on the hand) to grabbing the child by the hair or around the arm in such a way that you just know will leave a red mark (if not a bruise), and usually saying something like "I'm going to punch your face in if you don't knock it off" or "Shut the &$*@ up - I'm on the phone." It all turns my stomach, really, and in my gut I know that these children will grow up only to perpetuate the cycle, have their own 6 or 7 children, and treat them the same way.

Four pieces of toast later, this post has gone in a direction completely different than I had intended. I guess we're all a little bit schizo sometimes.

I guess we're all a little bit schizo sometimes. Wait...didn't I just say that?

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