Wednesday, January 05, 2011

Hungry N Bitter

Several days into the new year, I, like many other people out there, made a promise to myself (I refuse to make resolutions) that *this* would be the year I get serious about getting healthy. An astonishing number on the scale coupled with the fact that I have a huge ass has been enough of an impetus to get moving. Or so I thought.

My parents gave us a Wii for Christmas. I'm jazzed. I've wanted one forever, but our budget didn't allow for one. Not being able to afford a gym membership worth its money at the moment, I was glad for an opportunity to use Wii Fit and Wii Sports. I thought it was cool that I could make a little icon representing myself. I gave my little Mii my features: round face, medium-length hair pulled into braids, a little blush, brown hair and brown eyes, and the crooked smile that my husband still insists is one of my greatest features. It has to be, now, since I didn't have this fat ass when he met me. J-Lo booty, sure, but not this.

Anyway. I digress.

So, my Mii looks like me. On a good day. I put in my height, and then the Wii Fit scale (I loathe him) told me to step on the balance board. I guess my first clue should've been the fact that I heard a voice on the screen say, "OOO!!" as I stepped on. Nice. As the Wii calculated my BMI and weight, I stood, anticipating the number, knowing roughly what it would be. What I didn't expect, however, was my Mii to blow up like a balloon once the number registered. Mii looks like she could be a contestant on The Biggest Loser. I mean, when my Mii sits around the house, she sits around the house. When she sits on a rainbow, Skittles pop out. When she....

You get the idea. So, yeah...sure. I'd like to fit into smaller jeans. I'd like to not have to refer to myself as "Lardass." I'd like to be able to run around and play with my kids without needing the assistance of an oxygen tank.

Okay, that's a slight exaggeration. I don't need an oxygen tank.

Mostly, though, I'd like my Mii to lose her little muffin top and be a smokin' babe. So we're in this together. Me and my Mii. 50 pounds or bust.

The eating healthy crap, though, is already getting old. All I want is a piece of cake.

And to get Katy Perry's "Hot N Cold" out of my head. When I listen to songs, I don't typically pay attention to the lyrics. I realize it's a stupid song. And her voice kind of sucks. I'm more into melody, and this little ditty is quite catchy. It's a great song for when I run (ha ha) on the treadmill (that I don't have).

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